This is Cotton's last night on patrol. Starting Tuesday morning, he will be a "desk cop." Working banker's hours, wearing a suit and tie.
I feel so bad for him. He loves being a cop. It is in his bones, he is driven to "do good." I know that a part of his heart is breaking. He brought his squad car home tonight to show the kids one last time. (Oh my God I am tearing up over here!) he said- "After tonight Daddy won't have a police car anymore." I think that he is really losing something, and he doesn't realize it yet.
Of course- this change in position is wonderful. He will get to spend so much more time with us. We can have a "normal" family life- dinner together every night, weekend activities, SLEEPING IN BED TOGETHER at night!
It is an honor to be chosen for the position. It is good for advancement in his career. It is SAFER! than being on the street hunting bad guys all night.
Part of me wonders if I robbed this man. I was so careful not to push him to put in for this position. I wanted it to be his choice. Family comes first, of course- but a career- a calling- is something you can't deny. He was only on the street for... ummm... 5 years at the current dept, plus 2 years at his first, maybe? Was that long enough? Did he get to enjoy it?
Not to mention- Jacob absolutely LOVES police and police cars. he is over the moon that his daddy drives a police car to work, and that he gets to "drive" it sometimes, too. I know that if nothing else, taking away that excitement and pride that Jacob feels is heartbreaking for him.
I am so happy to get him to myself, and to know that he is so much safer- but I am so sad right now. I am so sad that I am crying. :o(
What have I done? (and did *I* even do it?)
2 comments:
so how is that sleeping in bed thingy workin' out for ya....
Ah, it'll be a good thing. WTG Cotton!
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