This is sure to be choppy and random, and some of the times may be off, and details left out- but it's been 14 days, and it's about time that I put this down into words. I must to share the story of my little boy coming into the world!
For those that don't know (even though I've been shouting it from the rooftops ;)) My birth was attended by an amazing midwife, and a real sweetheart,
Cori Lively, CPM. She was assisted by Tina Rowe and Amanda Prouty.
I suppose the story of his birth begins on Monday, March 10. Cori came for my 40 week visit.
Originally, Sam was due on the 3rd. Then the OB (who I saw for a while before switching to Cori) moved it to the 12th. (I never stopped believing the 3rd) Either way, he was fully cooked!
I was feeling huge, miserable, exhausted. Also, quite sorry for myself- as my baby was a week late. I actually had reached a calm place after a week of tearful frustration. Maybe I had accepted that he would come in his own time, or maybe I had just admitted defeat. Lol.
Although Sam was looking fabulous, and ready to come at any minute- my blood pressure was starting to get uncomfortably high.
Cori was concerned, and put me on bedrest.
2 days later, she came back to check on me. The blood pressure was worse. As in "the baby needs to be born today" worse.
Cori asked me "How do you feel about having a baby today?" and I'm not sure how I answered. I think my jaw dropped, my eyes welled up, and my heart skipped a beat. I don't even know if I spoke. Lol. Could this truly be happening? Was I really, REALLY going to have this baby? I was in shock.
Cotton, on the other hand, yelled "Woohoo!" from the kitchen. No mixed feelings from him!
At this point I had been having contractions for weeks. I was dilated to a 3 or 4. My body was ready to do this. The baby was in position and quite ready to come out. He just needed some encouragement.
So we did a series of things to kick off my labor. None of which I would recommend to anyone! Although as "not fun" as they were, it was this or a pitocin induction in the hospital...
Cori stripped my membranes and left us alone for a while. Then we had intercourse, to soften the cervix. After lying on my back for 30 minutes to let stuff absorb- the real fun began. Two 2oz doses of castor oil, 30 minutes apart. And then the trusty old breast pump.
Cotton ran out with the kids for ice and dinner for them, while I spent some quality time in bed to keep the BP as low as possible.
The kids were worried sick about me. Jacob was concerned that I was in pain, and Lucy was very upset about my having to drink "nasty medicine."
But the children were really amazing during the labor. They kind of drifted in and out to see what was happening, but were very calm and well behaved. They entertained themselves, and kept out of the way.
We started the whole process at about 4pm. At 5 Cori called to check on me. Nothing was going on. She called back at 6. Contractions about 20 minutes apart. At 7 another check in. Still 20 minutes apart. At some point after 7- the contractions skyrocketed from 20 minutes apart to just 3 minutes apart, and they got painful!
I called Cori back, and she very calmly said "I'll start getting ready to come check on you."
I decided to get in a bath to try to get more comfortable.
It didn't work at all. Lol.
But before I got out of the tub- in walks Cori. And 2 other midwives, Tina and Amanda, pretty much on her heels. That was right at 8:30.
She had told us a few weeks back that it was about 45 minutes from her house to ours. There is NO way it took her 45 minutes to get to me! And was I ever glad to see her face!
I remember getting out of the bath, and being in a lot of pain. The contractions were coming fast and hard. Very little time in between them. I know I was lying on the bed, then I sat up to better deal with the pain. Then I tried sitting on the ball, and I didn't like it at all. I tried standing up and hanging on Cotton, and that was nice for a while. At that point I don't think I even had a break between contractions, and I remember saying to Cori "I'll have y'all out of here early tonight!" The midwives sat on my bedroom floor, basically watching me and letting me and Cotton work through it on our own. And I loved that. It was our thing, our baby to have, and they were there if we needed them.
I remember getting upset after a bit, and crying out that "It just hurts so much. I don't know what to do!" At that point the midwives stepped in and gently suggested I lie down on my left side, because my blood pressure was still borderline, and we needed it to stay in a safe range. Cotton got in bed right next to me and held me.
It may have been a little while, but it seems like as soon as I got into bed- things moved even faster. I had a few contractions, buried my face in Cotton's shirt, and let his arms comfort me.
He was talking to me, encouraging me, but I barely heard him. I was very focused, and just "in the zone."
One of the midwives asked if she could check me and maybe break my water, because we really needed to get the baby out for my safety, and I said yes. But as soon as she tried, another contraction hit, and I curled over on my side again.
And then I just started pushing. There was no conscious decision to do it. I don't even think I was trying to push. But my body knew what to do, and the baby was coming NOW.
My water broke, and I could feel Sam moving down. I literally felt every inch of his descent. It was wild, and amazing. I had given birth twice before, and never felt so much!
At this point, I was in a lot of pain too, but it was different pain. And I knew that we were so close. This was unlike any pushing I had felt or seen before. There was no one holding my legs. No counting. Just my body, my instinct, my strength... The more I concentrated on this, the sooner the pain would stop. And the sooner my little boy would be in my arms...
Someone said "there's his head," and Cotton tried to look. But then I moaned and he came right back to my side. Then someone said "A hand!" and I could feel that hand, on the right side. Against the side of Sam's head as he emerged.
Jacob came in and I somehow managed to speak to him in a human voice. "Look," I said. "Your brother is coming out right now!" And he looked, and asked "Is he dead?" Poor baby! But after one last push, Sam was out and wailing. I think the screaming baby was Lucy's cue to come back in the bedroom. They wrapped him in a fuzzy purple towel and put him on my chest.
And he was so very beautiful. Pink and round, and thoroughly pissed off! That was at 9:57pm.
They waited a few minutes and then cut the cord. I laid him next to me to nurse while we waited for the placenta to deliver. Jacob climbed up beside me and we just talked and looked at the baby, and let him curl his tiny fingers around ours... that may have been the most amazing few minutes of my life...
After the birth, my blood pressure was still too high.
The baby was handed off to Cotton and the kids, and the midwives went to work on me. Giving me supplements, pushing me to drink fluids, keeping me on my side, and checking my BP often.
I was a little scared, but also in awe of the scene playing out in the rocking chair beside the bed.
My husband and my sweet children, and my minutes old baby. All getting to know each other. It was just beautiful. Infinitely better than a nurse wheeling him off to another room! Sam was right where he belonged- with his family.
At some point they got around to the newborn exam. I was in the bathroom, and heard them making bets on his weight. Lol. I think it was Tina that guessed "10lbs 2oz," and she should have put some money down! She was right on the button! 10lbs, 2oz of pure and simple love.
He checked out just perfect, of course, and Cotton got him dressed and immediately had to start changing meconium diapers!
My BP was up and down throughout the entire night, and Cori stayed right by my side. While I had never doubted her level of devotion, that night just cemented what an amazing health care provider she is.
She was up, dropping things (these things being homeopathic remedies and supplements) in my mouth. Pushing gatorade and water in my face, taking my BP. At some point, very late into the night, she curled up on the floor next to my bed, and covered up with a little pink blanket of Lucy's to sleep a bit. I wish I had a picture of that!
And finally, at 6 o'clock in the morning, she took one last blood pressure reading, decided I was going to live (lol), and went home. Only to return that afternoon to check on me again. And the next day. And a couple of days later.
I truly felt like she was my guardian angel. She stayed with me and helped me to have the birth I wanted, despite some difficulties. She kept me safe, and she kept me focused and strong with her presence. Cori has carved a spot in the heart of this family. I cannot describe the level of trust and respect I have for her.
Everyone asks me about the birth.
"You really had a 10lb baby, at home, with nothing for pain!?" they say.
And I have to answer "Yep, that's true."
But it isn't. I had my husband's arms for comfort. My children's faces for inspiration, and their soft touches to calm me. I had a trusted guardian, who kept me safe and let me do things the way I needed to. And I had myself, my determination...
I wanted this. I dreamed of this baby for years, and this perfect birth for 9 months...
and it all came true.
Big, beautiful blue eyes!
None to thrilled about his little bathtub. Lol.
Brudders.
he spends a lot of time in this lap!
I'm adjusting to having him around, I guess.
